| Key to a good story
By Malcolm Rodgers
The Royal and Ancient golf club was forced to apologise during the recent
Open after an audience of golfing professionals and senior administrators
was treated to a speech that included racist jokes and references to the
disabled.
Graham Brown, a member of the R&A’s rules committee, took the
Association of Golf Writers’ annual dinner at Carnoustie by storm
with a speech that included jokes about “Nips” and “all
Japanese looking the same”, another about black caddies and a story
about two disabled golfers.
The speech followed a toast proposed by the former BBC correspondent Tony
Adamson which included a joke about a player punching his wife in the
mouth.
But it hardly surprises me. Golfers never really have struck me as being
the wittiest about.
However, I do admit there is the occasional good golf story. This one
involves two associates of this column. The pair were at a club in Greenore,
Co. Louth when they spotted a huge bunch of keys protruding from the boot
lock of a BMW.
They obviously belonged to an important chap, with more keys there than
you’d find on the head warden at Wormwood Scrubs. Yale keys, car
keys, deadlock keys, Allen keys, even some of those useless little keys
that open briefcases.
One of the passing pals pulled the keys from the car and headed towards
the clubhouse, intending to leave them at the front desk. But as he examined
them he spotted on the keyring the UVF logo and the words ‘Simply
the Best’. The pair didn’t bother completing their journey
to the clubhouse.
Should the owner of the keys happen to be reading The Irish Post, I have
the sad duty of informing him that his keys are now lying amongst the
shopping trolleys and bike frames at the bottom of Carlingford Lough.
Now that’s what this column calls a funny golf story. |
