It’s Not About Genitals

MANY times during an argument, people lose sight and forget the original focus of the issue at hand. That appears to be the case of what has recently happened with the letters exchange between a Mr. Rogers and myself on these pages, with the discussion concerning equal access to marriage.

In his July 12-18 letter “Man + Woman = Marriage,” he has flown off onto a spiritual plane with little basis in reality. True, Mr. Rogers does attempt to clarify his comments with math, but fails in that aspect as well.

To quote him, “Just as the mathematical equation of two plus two creates the immutable reality of four, so to does the sacramentalized love union . . . “

Well, at no point have I ever expressed an expansion of marriage beyond one plus one, equally two. As a matter of fact I too would happily adapt the numbers calculation to be “one plus one equals one.” That, as we all know (despite its mathematical error), is the true meaning of marriage and its deep emotional feeling.

However we, and much of society, do seem to disagree over who those ones should be. Mr. Rogers and many of those who share his opinion fail to understand that allowing same sex couples to wed would have no real legal impact upon him or his personal decision to wed the person of his own choice.

Whether John and Mary choose to marry a Betty and Harry or a Bill and Sally truly is a personal matter. Freedom to love is deep and individual.

That comment brings me back to the actual start of all these letters – a column in May by Cormac MacConnell concerning a woman discovering her husband was leaving her for another man. It was her sorrow that touched me deeply and caused me to write.

The result of reading Cormac’s article and “seeing” the tears she shed was what made me send my original letter to the Irish Voice. I had to express how, if society was more open to same sex couples, her husband might not have tried to hide his orientation in the first place, and marry a woman only to leave her later and cause deep sorrow. Furthermore, I am sure she had feelings of inadequacy and deep guilt on her part as a result of his decision.

So, to repeat, open access to marriage for same sex couples may help end a lot of the “coming out later” events that can and do cause deep sorrow and much emotional pain to innocent others.

Returning to Mr. Rogers, he certainly expressed refusal to take my suggestion and read up on the matter. He immediately referred to the church and the Bible. By doing so, he implies that I might have no experience or knowledge with either of those things.

Well, he is wrong on that matter. As a graduate of three Catholic institutions, and still quite involved with two of them, I have certainly read the Holy Book.

Furthermore, when reading its texts, I do note that the Bible highlights a number of sincere and deeply involved same sex couples. The Old Testament has King David’s deep and documented emotions: “My brother Jonathan, thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.” (2 Sam. 1:16).

Also, I sincerely doubt I would have to explain or identify who said and who was being spoken about in the New Testament when the phrase “beloved disciple” is used.

So, if the basis of Ireland’s major religious belief offers deep same sex emotions from two of its most important personalities, why can’t two ordinary people be recognized, for tax purposes in our nation, the land of the free, as a couple despite their genitals?

Joseph P. Fanning
Glen Ridge, New Jersey

Proud of Legal Daughter

WITH reference to the “Sidewalks” column headlined “One Very Revealing Photograph” (June 7-13), I would like to correct some of the liberties writer Tom Deignan took in interpreting the image and circumstances surrounding the photograph of my daughter Sarah.

Her full name is Sarah Philomena Eccles. She is the younger of two girls. Her sister Devan, my wife Trish and myself, Eugene, make up the complete family.

Contrary to the article we did not forbid the use of our surname. This is something I will address with the project coordinator Danny Goldfield.

The assumption that Deignan made that we are undocumented is just that, an assumption. That it fit neatly into the story does not make it true.

My wife and I were fortunate to be granted a green card and then, ultimately, citizenship of the U.S. As for the conjecture that we returned to Ireland because of an economic boom, this could not be farther from the truth.

The reality of our circumstances are more complex and personal and not for discussion but be assured we certainly are not chasing after some inflated Celtic Tiger.

I would like to add some thoughts of my own on the project Danny Goldfield has undertaken. Both my wife and I put our daughter Sarah (Devan was too old) forward as representative of the Irish immigrant community in New York. We did this in response to an article in the Daily News last year looking for ideal candidates.

Mr. Goldfield did indeed choose Sarah for what we consider to be a tremendously evocative work detailing the wide diversification of peoples in the great city of New York and by extension the U.S. We are honored and proud that he chose Sarah and yet, disheartened by the “Sidewalks” piece which cast this young, beautiful and intelligent American-Irish girl in the role of a failed ambassador of our collective experience as immigrants.

She is a tremendously vital girl, intelligent, articulate, full of empathy and with a zest for life and learning, she indeed could epitomize the dream so many fellow immigrants have for their children.

Sarah and her sister Devan will always be Americans of Irish heritage, proud of who they are and of where they came from. My wife and I have been blessed by God with these two girls and will forever cherish the citizenship and heritage we share with our two daughters.

Eugene Eccles
Ireland

Truth About Informer

JOHN Spain has obviously not read the article by Ed Moloney in The Irish Times recently about Jean McConville, the Belfast woman who was executed by the IRA in 1972.

Spain is insistent that McConville was not an informer, but Moloney, possibly the premier writer on the North for many years, knows the case intimately, and I suggest Spain read what he says.

Moloney does not justify the killing, but he makes it clear that there was very clear evidence that Jean McConville was in fact carrying out spying activities for the British and that she had been strongly warned to stop.

When she didn’t the IRA abducted her and killed her. If she was an informer that does not excuse the horrific actions, but we should all know the truth of this issue, unlike what Spain wrote in his column last week.

Martin D. Power
Boston, Massachusetts

Praise the Police

THE editorial in last week’s issue held that silence is golden in Northern Ireland because there was no violence over the week of the 12th of July.

I don’t think it was silence as much as top class police work by the Police Service of Northern Ireland, and great cooperation between Loyalists and Nationalists that ensured there was no trouble.

We give out enough about the parties and the police in the North so on this occasion we should pay tribute to them.

Patrick Jennings
Cleveland, Ohio