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Bar Jokes

Bathroom drunk

A drunk guy was sitting in a bar. He asked the bartender, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender said, "Go down the hall and make a right."

All of a sudden, everybody at the bar heard a loud scream and wondered what was going on in the bathroom. A few minutes go by, and everybody at the bar heard another loud scream coming out of the bathroom.

This time, the bartender went into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk was screaming about. He opened the door and asked the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers away."

The drunk said, "I'm sitting on the toilet and every time I go to flush it, something comes up and squeezes my balls."

With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, "No wonder, you're sitting on the mop bucket!"