Irish Pubs and Bars worldwide in our Irish Pub Directory - New York, London, Sydney, Boston, Dublin, San Francisco, Toronto. You can also find songs, drinking games, quotes, toasts & more!

Oh Mother dear, I'm over here
and I'm never coming back.
What keeps me here is the Beer,
the Women and the Craic!

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!

Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer—and another one!

For every wound, a balm.
For every sorrow, cheer.
For every storm, a calm.
For every thirst, a beer.

Best while you have it use your breath
There is no drinking after death.

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here.

Be one who drinks the finest of ales.
Every day without fail.
Even when you have drank enough,
Remember that ale is wonderful stuff.

He that buys land buys many stones.
He that buys flesh buys many bones.
He that buys eggs buys many shells,
But he that buys good beer buys nothing else.

You guys came by to have some fun.
You’ll come and stay all night, I fear.
But I know how to make you run.
I’ll serve you all generic beer.

Here’s to temperance supper,
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with—
And me not there at all!

An Irishman is never drunk as long as
He can hold onto one blade of grass and not
Fall off the face of the earth.
--Old Irish toast

For every wound, a balm.
For every sorrow, cheer.
For every storm, a calm.
For every thirst, a beer.

A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote.
A journalist invents his lies, and rams them down your throat.
So stay at home and drink your beer and let the neighbors vote.
--William Butler Yeats

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all that we will know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you and I sigh.
--William Butler Yeats

The problem with some people is that
when they aren’t drunk they're sober.
--William Butler Yeats

In heaven there is no beer...
That’s why we drink ours here.

"I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society,
except that which makes to road safer, the beer stronger,
the old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier in the summer."
--Irish novelist Brendan Behan

Some Guinness was spilt on the barroom floor
When the pub was shut for the night.
When out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse
And stood in the pale moonlight.

He lapped up the frothy foam from the floor
Then back on his haunches he sat.
And all night long, you could hear the mouse roar,
"Bring on the goddamn cat!"

When money's tight and hard to get
and your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt
a pint of plain is your only man.
--Old Irish toast

But the greatest love--the love above all loves,
Even greater than that of a mother...
Is the tender, passionate, undying love,
Of one beer drunken slob for another.
--Irish love ballad

God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the world!

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
--Oscar Wilde

Here’s to health and prosperity,
To you and all your posterity.
And them that doesn’t drink with sincerity,
That they may be damned for all eternity!

Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, cheat death.
If you steal, steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, fight for a brother.
If you drink, drink with me!!

What's the use of drinking tea? Indulging in sobriety,
And teetotal perversity, It's healthier to booze.
What's the use of milk and water? These are drinks that never aughta
Be allowed in any quarter, Come on lose those blues.
Mix yourself a Shandy, Drown yourself in Brandy.
Sherry sweet, or Whisky neat, Just grab some liquor that's handy!
There's no blinking point in drinking, Anything that doesn't make you stinking, There's no happiness like sinking, Blotto to the floor.
So rid yourself of all frustration, Drinking may be your salvation,
End it all in dissipation, Rotten to the core.
Aberrations metabolic, Ceilings that are hyperbolic,
These are for the alcoholic,  Lying on the floor.
Vodka for the Arty, Gin to make you Hearty.
Lemonade was only made, For drinking if your mother's at the party!
Steer well clear of home-made beer, And anything that isn't l UP belled clear, There is nothing else to fear...
BOTTOMS UP my Boys!

Dough, the stuff that buys me beer.
Ray, the guy who brings me beer.
Me, the guy who drinks the beer.
Far, a long way to get beer.
So, I'll have another beer.
La, I'll have another beer.
Tea, no thanks I'm having beer.
That will bring us back to...
(reaching the crescendo of his toast,
Homer looks into his beer mug,
which is empty) ...DOH!!!
--Homer Simpson